Leap Day Contest for Free Book

Leap Day Contest!!!

Hey, if we’re going to make a big deal out a holiday that isn’t really a holiday except to people who were born on February 29, let’s have some fun with it. I thought a good way to acknowledge Leap Day would be to offer a free book to someone. So here’s the deal:

1. Read “Dan Powell: The Making of an American Cowboy” (I’ll give you two weeks to do it). If you don't have it yet, you can get it here: http://booklocker.com/books/5647.html.
2. On my blog page, express you opinion of the content of the last page—good, bad or indifferent. Your like or dislike does not affect your eligibility—what counts is that you read it and comment.
3. Provide email information so that I can contact you if you win.

Contest closes at midnight, MST, March 15, 2012. I will draw a name from the pool of entrants. The prize is a copy of my newest publication, “Ora’s Quest.” (If you want to see if this book interests you, go to http://booklocker.com/books/5968.html.)

Best of luck, everyone. I hope to hear from you soon!

Chapter Four

Chapter Four: Start Small, but Believe

Where to begin? Let’s start by taking an accounting of all your good points. I said ALL of them. Don’t tell me you don’t have any, or very many. It is a proven fact that a person must have more positive concepts about himself/herself than negative ones to function. That is why we go to such lengths to justify our weaknesses; we have to feel good about ourselves. So let’s list everything you have going for you.

Give yourself credit for all your accomplishments. Are you breathing? Good! That’s the most important qualification for improving yourself! You pass the test! Now go from there. How is your health? If it’s good, count your blessings. If it’s not, look at the courage and strength of will it takes for you to get through every day. What a talent!

Do you have a relationship with anyone? Father, mother, sister, brother, neighbor, friend, co-worker, acquaintance—anyone? List them all, and recognize that the ability to maintain a relationship is a talent.

Can you express your thoughts clearly? Can you sing? Are you good at math? Are you good with your hands? Do animals like you? (Don’t laugh! Animals are very perceptive!) Can you draw? Can you name a constellation other than The Big Dipper? Can you hold your breath for a long time? (Hey! It has applications!)

Keep thinking, and list everything you can do. When you finish, it may surprise you how much you have going for you!

Sometimes an ability will seemingly come into view all by itself. This book is an example of that. People kept coming to me and bringing up the same issues of lack of fulfillment. It bothered me to see so many people struggling. I would talk with each one and relate a bit of my story that was relevant to his or her situation—something I thought would help. As this happened time after time, I realized (that is, my spirit and the Holy Spirit got through to me) that my experiences could be helpful to others, and that there were far more people in the world than the few I’d met who could benefit from the wisdom I had gained by experience. I decided that if I could help one person, it was worth my time to write it all down.

Notice I had the confidence to think I could do it! How did I get that confidence? By listening to my heart, writing year after year, and convincing myself that I am a writer.

Acknowledge the restrictions that cannot be changed. There are certain circumstances in our lives that cannot be changed, like marriage, children, and the need to earn a living. Getting a divorce and leaving your family is not an option for most people. Only abusive relationships should be forsaken. And once your children are born, they are your responsibility. Period. It is your duty to nurture them and help them to realize in themselves those same things you are learning about yourself now. People who have walked away can tell you that those relationships are never really abandoned; they stay with you, scarring your life and the lives of others (particularly children), and bringing about much unhappiness and unfulfillment on all sides.

More importantly, the day-to-day relationships we have with those people close to us can be the source of the most joyful and fulfilling moments in our lives. Sharing triumphs with people who have seen the struggle magnifies the conquest by many times. We, in turn, can rejoice in the accomplishments our loved ones attain. Growing together and encouraging one another is one of the biggest reasons for all of us being on the planet at the same time.

Recognize the things that can change. That may be hard to do, since we tend to hunker down into our cozy little ruts and stay there. It’s comfortable there. We know what’s going to happen. But there comes a time when each of us has to poke his/her head up into the clear blue sky and look around. There may be opportunities in view—maybe within immediate grasping distance—that would greatly improve life’s situation.

This can be unsettling to one degree or another, depending how far down in that rut you live; but if you ever want to see an improvement in your circumstances, you have to muster the courage to look around. Maybe your job takes all the energy you have, leaving nothing for yourself or your family. Maybe you need to get serious about taking care of your health problems instead of looking for the miracle pill that will take it all away. There may be a long list of excuses why you just can’t do whatever it is you can’t do; that list needs to be burned. “I don’t have time” is not acceptable. No one has time; you have to make time.

What seems too difficult or too much of a sacrifice now may really be a necessity. One way to determine the difference between a need and a want is to look at the worst-case scenario. For instance, if starting tomorrow you had to start giving things up in order to stay alive, what would you have left by next month? A car? A big house? A closet full of clothes? Jewelry? Cell phones? Stacks of magazines and newspapers? Knickknacks? No, basics would be something to eat, something to wear, and someplace to sleep.

Now think about the necessities of keeping your spirit alive. Do you need negative input? Self-effacing thoughts and remarks? A daily routine that is oppressive? Isolation? Depression? Get rid of the things that hamper change! Instead, feed your spirit on positive thoughts: love yourself, accept who you are, spend time learning to do those things that bring you joy. These are the things that will keep your spirit alive!

Smile. It’s such a basic thing to have a positive attitude about yourself, yet it’s so difficult for so many. There’s one easy test: look in the mirror and smile at yourself. If you can do it, you’re on your way.

When I first tried, I couldn’t do it. I was so unhappy with myself I couldn’t smile at that woman! But I made myself try, over and over. At first I just looked at her; sometimes I cried, but going through the exercise made me confront—come face to face, if you will—with why I was unhappy. I had to think about it, deal with it, overcome it if I were ever going to be able to smile at that lady.

After a while, I could make goofy, clown-like faces at myself; not serious, satisfied smiles, but it was a step. It felt awkward, uncomfortable, out of my rut; but I kept at it. Then one day, it happened! I looked at myself, and I liked what I saw, and I looked myself right in the eye and I smiled! It’s a fabulous feeling! One of the best I’ve ever had.

I still check myself from time to time, to see if I can smile; and if things get tough and I’m really down, I go stare at myself in the mirror. Somehow my spirit reaches out through my eyes and I discuss my problem with myself, and then I smile.

Learn to say, “ I am a _____________,” and act like one. Once you’ve mastered the smile and identified who you are, you have to change your thought pattern. I used to say, “I want to be a writer,” and looking back I can see that I acted like a wannabe writer. I wrote once in a while and dreamed of doing the talk shows to promote my new book. I gave some pieces to a friend or two to read, but I kept most of it to myself. When I did finally try to market some things, I took the first rejections very personally, and decided no one was interested.

Then I went through my personal identification. After that, when people asked me what I did, I would say, “I’m a writer.” It was strange at first, to be really saying it out loud, but before long it was easy to proclaim to the world who I am. I started seeking work as a writer; and with my new confidence, it wasn’t hard to convince people I could do it. Of course I had to demonstrate my talent, but I now had a high enough opinion of my own abilities to do that without hesitation.

Schedule time for you, and be sure you use it. If you are going to effect a real change in your life, you are going to have to devote some time to making it happen. I’ve heard that it takes three months of doing something regularly to make it a habit; if you are going to become a ___________, acting like one will have to be a habit.

Make a list of the things you think you need to do to become a ____________. Set goals as to when these things will be accomplished; then set up a schedule. Can you find time for yourself every day? Come on! You have time for everyone else! Put yourself in the daily plan! You’ll be surprised at how good it feels to have even ten minutes to call your own.

If you have small children, or children who are very dependent on you being at their beck and call, it might be a good idea to start with a small amount of time each day when they have instructions not to disturb you unless there is an emergency. At first they may weep and wail and pound on your door; but soon they understand that you will come out, and when you do, you will be a much more pleasant person (because you feel fulfillment!). Of course, I’m not advocating ignoring real needs, and there will be days when you have to interrupt your plan; but when that happens, reschedule immediately! Put yourself in the first available time slot and try again. You’re never defeated until you stop trying.

For me it was important to let my family witness the transformation. To tell the truth, with six kids in a close family and in our little house, I couldn’t have hidden it from them if I’d tried! As young as they were, they noticed changes in my demeanor, in the length of my “fuse,” and in my general outlook on the world. They knew what I was doing, and they watched with interest. It really didn’t take long for our rule to become effective; the rule was that if they came into the room and my hands were busy on the keyboard, they should wait until my fingers stopped moving to talk to me—unless, of course, someone was bleeding or the kitchen was on fire….

I didn’t realize the impact my growth was having on the children until our oldest daughter wrote me a letter for Mothers Day one year—I think she was about seventeen. She listed the things she loved about me and the things I did for her; then she wrote, “The most important thing you taught me was that you never give up on your dreams.” I still cry every time I repeat that. That daughter is now married and the mother of three amazingly talented boys. She is working at building a business in interior design—her dream. There’s never been any doubt in her mind she’d get there. (Mine, either.)

The goals you set may have to shift as you work through your reformation—things don’t always happen at the rate we think they will. Then again, as you get further into the process, you may find that some things you had outlined aren’t important, while others have come to light that really need development.

Earlier I mentioned college “the first time.” I never really intended for there to be a second time. As much as I love learning, I’m not a big fan of academia with all its bravado. I was making a living as a writer/editor in the corporate world. It was working. But my spirit kept at me—the degree, the degree. I didn’t really want one—I didn’t even know what degree I would go for. I didn’t have the money, and I certainly didn’t have the time or the desire. Still, the thought kept returning, year after year.

Finally, my job got so stressful it was affecting my health. I wanted another path; but because I didn’t have a degree, many avenues were closed to me. So now was the time to get started. I went back to school on line. Within a few months I had decided that I couldn’t stay at my job any longer. With my husband’s blessing and encouragement, I quit and concentrated on finishing school. I still didn’t like a lot of aspects of it, but I knew this was something I had to do. So…on rappel, on belay… the Lord and I got through it and I graduated with a 4.0.

Now what? I looked at jobs. I couldn’t find any that I could see myself doing. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that all I wanted to do was write. And now, with all my years of experience and a BA in Communication Studies, I was fully qualified by anyone’s standards to be my own marketing manager as well. Again, with the blessing of my fabulous partner in life, I gave myself a year to start making money as a writer. That’s where I am as I write this—in the third quarter of that year, and beginning to see returns on my first novel, even as several more line up in the queue. This is not exactly the way I had seen my story panning out; I had to adjust as directed along the path to land in the position I am in. I’m not saying anyone has to have a BA to follow his/her dreams; I’m just saying that for whatever reason it was made known to me that that was what I needed. Based on past experience, I’m sure I’ll see more reasons for it down the line.

Review your master plan often, and adjust it where necessary. But above all, keep chipping away at the list.

The list for you may consist of nothing more than exercising the talent. That’s great! Just make sure you do something with it every day.

While you’re at it, keep a journal of what you’re feeling, what works, and what doesn’t. If not a full-fledged journal, at least write notes on a calendar so you have some record of your progress. Then when one of those down days rolls around, you can look back at what you’ve written and see how far you have really come.

Sorry, folks. Busy week. Here is chapter 3, which I had intended to post last week. I hope the wait wasn't too painful. #;-)

Chapter Three: How Do I Find the Strength?

We’re talking about change here, and change is never easy. On the other hand, it’s no fun to go through life wishing you were somewhere else. Now is when you have to get serious with yourself and take action. There are some basic principles you have to understand to really effect change in your life. WARNING: You can’t just read these next few sections, say, “Okay,” and move on to the next part of the book. You must internalize them and make them a part of your personal philosophy. Word them as you like, understand them from your own perspective, but know that changing yourself is based on a deep-seated belief in yourself.

You can’t give from a dry well. Many of us spend our lives in pursuit of pleasing others: spouse, boss, children, parents, friends, our “audience,”—whomever those people are who are players in our lives. We give—morning, noon, and night—thinking we are responsible for seeing that these people are happy. The truth is, no one can make anyone else happy. REPEAT: No one can make anyone else happy. (Neither can we make them miserable.) We can contribute, but each person is responsible for his own happiness. Each person is responsible for his own happiness. Each person is responsible for his own happiness. Get the idea?

Please don’t think I am discounting service, by any means. Service is one of the most glorious things we can do on this planet, and an integral part of our reason for being here. Little children depend on our help; our paychecks depend on our work; relationships depend on giving; much of the joy we find in living comes from helping others when they cannot help themselves. Indeed, the things we want to do most will most likely be of service to someone. On the other hand, it is possible to spend too much time doing for others. When you serve everyone but yourself, you are doing yourself a great injustice.

Let’s say your service is water that you are pouring from a bucket. You go to each person and pour out a little. Soon the bucket is empty. How do you refill it? You must spend time on yourself, nourishing your own spirit, meeting your own needs (physical, emotional, and spiritual) if you want to be able to give to anyone else for very long.

It’s not selfish; it’s survival. Spending time on yourself is the only way you can recharge your own batteries. What is true for others is true for you: no one else can make you happy. You have to find joy in yourself. That’s why it is not only important, it’s essential that you spend time nurturing yourself.

When my husband finished school and got settled into his new job, he handed me the course catalog for the community college and said, “It’s your turn.” My mind nearly exploded at the possibilities! However, a friend had told me that the community theater was auditioning for “The Sound of Music” and had asked me if I’d like to go with her to try out for the nun’s chorus. I told my husband I’d like to try the theater first.

The audition consisted of singing and reading a scene, neither of which I’d prepared for; I was more along for the ride. I was, however, accustomed to singing, thanks to the church choir, and I knew one of the songs from the show, so that part went okay. When it came time to act, I trusted the instincts of the little girl who had played an Indian maiden, an army nurse, an army sergeant, and everything in between, and read the scene in which Maria tells Von Trapp that he needs to listen to his children. It was great fun and elicited a “Wow!” from the director. I was pleased to have gotten that far, but I really didn’t expect any more from my first audition. Amazingly, I was cast as one of the nuns.

During September rehearsals for that show, the theater board was planning the December slate. They had hit a hitch, finding out that a show they had hoped to do was not available. They were in the process of selecting three one-act plays to fill the evening, but had so far only found two they liked. Another friend who was an active member of the group pointed to me across the room and said, “See her? She writes. I’ll bet she could come up with something.” Before I knew it, I had been commissioned to fill the hole in the program.

What followed can only be called an Act of God. Within three weeks, I had written a one-act musical with four original songs. The board fell in love with it, and I was installed as an assistant director for the production of the first real play I’d written! As that play was in rehearsal, the director and I had a conversation about our love of a certain movie, and how we wished there were a stage version of it. Shortly thereafter, I was asked to create that piece, which was subsequently performed to rave reviews in two separate seasons and at a local high school. I ended up writing another, directing a few, performing in many others, and serving on the board of directors before we left that town four years later.

At first I had a hard time justifying the time I put into the theater. I was used to devoting all my time to “the things that have to be done.” While it was an adjustment for everyone, I finally realized that the guilt I was feeling was self-imposed. I didn’t need to feel it. I wasn’t doing anyone any favors if I denied myself this outlet. A happier me made for happier people around me.

God has a plan for me. The old saying is, “God put me here to accomplish certain things, and at the rate I’m going, I’ll never die!” Of course that’s not quite true. We’re going to die anyway. The idea is to find out what He put us here to achieve so when death does come along, we will enter the next life knowing we met our goals. If we lose ourselves along the way, we not only frustrate ourselves, but His plan for the work we could have accomplished and the lives we could have touched.

Every one of us is unique; that’s not by accident. Each one of us has physical, mental, and spiritual gifts in a combination no one else has. Maybe you have a way of putting people at ease in conversation. Maybe you’re artistic. Maybe you understand the internal combustion engine better than anyone in the county. Maybe you’re a computer whiz. Maybe you’re a fabulous cook. Maybe you can get a crying child to laugh in four minutes flat. Whatever your talents (and everybody has more than one), develop them. He who gave them to you will guide you; you only have to ask.

If that isn’t motivation enough, think of it this way: some day you will stand before God to account for your life. What will you tell Him? “I was too busy to develop myself. It didn’t seem important.” What do you think would be the look on His face? And how would you feel saying those words to Him?

I’m worth it. It doesn’t matter who you are or how many hard knocks you’ve had in life; don’t let anyone convince you that you don’t deserve to be happy. You have as much right to inner joy and peace of mind as anyone else. There may be difficult circumstances in your corner of the world, but those are only circumstances. Being who you were meant to be is the inalienable right of every person on the planet.

Another dear man once said to us, “We don’t have problems. We have challenges and opportunities!” (At the time I said, “No, I have a problem!” But I have since learned this principle and made it an important part of my philosophy.) If we choose to look at it as he did, he is very right. The struggles that face us are often the things that make us dig down deep into our souls to find strength we never had to use before. They are opportunities to grow, to gain compassion, to be refined in ways that hardship alone can purify us. No matter what has come your way, you are still entitled to find your eternal purpose and develop your character and talents to fulfill it.

Time for another illustration: At one point I was a leader of a young women’s group. Part of their annual activity was to go to camp and work through a series of goals to achieve progressive “ranks” as campers. Since I hadn’t had this opportunity as a teenager, I was earning my ranks along with the girls. So here I was, going for my fourth year (top) rank as a grown woman—a slightly “fluffy” mother of six who hadn’t exercised seriously in several years, and who had never been athletic.

The first requirement was a five-mile hike, carrying a pack. The course of the hike was plotted over very rough terrain, and my pack was too heavy. By the time we reached our destination, I was exhausted, sore and had big bruises on my hips where the pack had been riding.

The hike had taken longer than we anticipated; we arrived at our campsite after dark, so had to set up our tents and prepare our meals by firelight. I had borrowed a tent, which turned out to be a bad one. It rained in the night. I woke up in a veritable pond, soaking wet. I was cold and exhausted and in pain. I distinctly remember walking up the road of the camp the next day, thinking, “What am I doing here? I have car keys in my pocket! I have a family waiting for me at home! Why am I doing this?” But I had committed, and I was going to finish.

Next came the biggest challenge: rappelling. I had known this was part of the program, and I had been psyching myself up for it since I had decided to make the trek. I’d never done it before, and it was definitely out of my comfort zone to step off the side of a cliff; but I had said I would, and I was going to follow through.

I sat at the top of the cliff and watched all the other girls and leaders go down. I studied the commands called out by the rappel masters (men who were experienced climbers) handling the ropes. I watched the actions of the rappellers. I used my acting skills to put myself in their places and rode down the cliff with each of them in my mind, preparing myself to make the jump. Finally, they had all gone down, and it was my turn.

Remember the rain? It had been a good, soaking rain. The ground was just muddy enough to be slick. The grass was wet. And 40 other people had gone over the cliff before I did. So I got into position. I knew what to do, and I knew the commands.

I got into the rigging and put on the helmet. I stepped to the edge of the cliff—backward.

“Ready on rappel,” was my line, meaning I was ready to go.

“Ready on belay,” came the response, meaning the rappel master had the ropes under control and was ready to catch me if I started to fall.

“On rappel,” I said, meaning “here goes nothing!”

“On belay,” he answered, meaning, “I won’t let you die.”

I stepped off the cliff, and my foot slipped on the slick edge. I hit the rock face in the first second of my descent. My shoulder, my head (actually, gratefully, the helmet). Everyone gasped. But I was ready. I had prepared for this. I didn’t panic; I got back into position, called out, “I’m OK. Let’s go,” and finished the descent.

Now it wasn’t the Matterhorn—it was only about 30 or 40 feet, but I felt great. Bruised and battered as I was, I felt great. I had done it! Unfortunately, the other leaders decided that I needed to do it again—like getting back on the horse you’ve just fallen off. They made me do it twice more. In my flabby condition, I was shaking with fatigue after the third descent, but I did it.

What does all this have to do with believing I’m worth something? I went into this experience—as foreign to my normal life as it could possibly be—and did what I would have deemed impossible. I pulled strength from myself that I never knew was there. I utilized spiritual strength I hadn’t recognized was available. I learned a great deal about my individual value and about what I could accomplish if I tried hard enough. For years I carried a piece of paper in the front of my scriptures that said, “Ready on rappel. Ready on belay. On rappel. On belay.” I had learned who the greatest Rappel Master is, and I knew what value He put on me. I knew that together we could do anything. I have had to draw on that knowledge many times since.

I am not alone. Remember, your Heavenly Father will be with you every step of the way. He loves you and wants you to succeed. He can bless you in many ways to help you toward your goal. Some blessings will be easy to spot; others will take a sharpened spiritual eye to notice. You may find you have the energy to stay up an hour later every night to work on your growth. You may find that you work more efficiently at “have to” tasks, allowing you time for yourself. Perhaps there will be a forgotten ten dollar bill that turns up just when you are face with the choice of spending money on yourself or on something else. Maybe you will find that your family is particularly supportive at certain points of your quest. To many, such things are merely coincidental; to the trained spiritual eye, they are quiet, unobtrusive ways God helps us when we’re trying to do His will. Learn to recognize His hand in your life.

God Didn't, Part Two

Time for Chapter 2, folks. So without further adieu...

Chapter Two: Who Am I?

I remember the first stab I made at finding myself. We only had two children then, but there was only 13 months difference in their ages. My husband insisted I take a “day off” one Saturday and go do something for myself. I remember the anticipation, the excitement of thinking about just doing what I wanted to do. However, when the day arrived, I got up and started my daily routine. I soon realized that I had to get out of there or I would never make it. My husband took over with the children and shooed me out the door.

I got in the car and started driving; then I realized I had no idea where to go or what to do. I drove around for a while, ending up at a mall. And what great, self-affirming thing did I accomplish? I went in and found a great deal on a shirt for my husband and some cute little tokens for the kids…then I realized what I was doing. I shifted focus. I thought about what I did to relax in college. I somehow ended up with a sketchbook, a notebook, and a sandwich, and I headed for a local pond.

I thoroughly enjoyed sitting in the shade, sketching and enjoying my lunch—that is until the overfed killer ducks caught sight of my sandwich. Having dealt with that problem, I opened the notebook and began the first of my journals. Looking back at it, the first thing I notice is that the language is stiff and formal—in part, I think, because I thought journals ought to be written like they came out of the 19^th century, and partly because I was so out of touch with the writer in me.

I continued writing journal entries fairly regularly for several years. There are notes about poems and little pieces I was working on, but most of it has to do with day-to-day living and big events in our lives. Gradually, the language loosened up as I got comfortable with myself. I am amazed, though, when I read the entries I made about my having done something creative and how wonderful it felt. I guess there was just too much going on for me to pick up on the clues.

The family continued to expand, and my life got ever busier. I had ups and downs, but somehow I kept returning to that feeling of not being fulfilled. It didn’t make sense, I’d tell myself. I had a wonderful life going for me, but there was something missing.

I managed to get some fulfillment from writing little skits for church variety shows and such. I directed some and performed once in a while. Still, there was precious little time devoted to myself; and though I enjoyed this work, I probably wouldn’t have done any of it if it hadn’t been assigned.

Then one fateful day, a dear friend asked me a question: “What did you like to do when you were a child?” And do you know what? I couldn’t remember! I had to think really hard for several days before it came back to me. I used to make up stories. Whether they were my own episodes of favorite TV shows, personalized versions of movies, or out-and-out fantasies, I made up stories. I also liked to play “school” and be the teacher, correcting papers. Still, armed with this memory, I didn’t know exactly what I was supposed to do.

I had figured out that writing was fulfilling in some degree, and the few friends I let see my work seemed to enjoy it. So, in those years when I had six young children and an absentee husband, I learned that when I was feeling frustrated, creative writing helped. I even submitted a few things to magazines, but no one seemed interested. Still, it was a valuable exercise for me.

Another thing I discovered (a few years later) was community theater. It gave me a creative outlet—I ended up not only acting, but writing, directing, producing and just about everything else—and my family noticed that when I was in a show, I was happier (stressed during tech week, but overall happier).

The most important feeling, though, came through the Spirit. I knew that writing—creating things—was something I was supposed to pursue. I had no reason to believe I’d ever be more than a “starving artist,” but it was a skill I was supposed to develop. Maybe so I could write great journals for our posterity. Maybe something would get published some day. In any event, I was supposed to do it.

Those are the kinds of feelings to pay attention to: those things that feel right, even if you don’t know why. Those feelings are your spirit trying to communicate with you, to remind you who you are and what you were sent here to do. They also tap into the Holy Spirit, who is telling you what God wants you to know.

We so easily get sidetracked. They aren’t necessarily bad things that pull us from our original selves; many are things we need or want to have as part of our lives. Sometimes—like when we’re in school, new in the workforce, or our children are young—we have to accept the fact that we have to let the pendulum swing more in the direction of the “business” of living and away from the “joy.” It is important to keep one spiritual eye on ourselves, though.

There was a time when the financial stresses of a large family made me feel it was time for me to go back to work. I was, of course, heavily involved with family activities and still doing my theater work when I took a part-time job. The load was very heavy, and after contemplating the possibilities, I decided that I would have to give up my beloved theater for a while. I was willing to make that sacrifice for the good of the family, and I knew that when the crisis had passed, I would take it up again.

I took that decision to my Heavenly Father and asked Him if that were the right thing for me to do. The answer was a resounding, “No!” It nearly knocked me over! He communicated to my spirit that in no way should I give up what I was doing, that my writing was a major part of my life’s work, and that He would sustain me so I could continue. And that’s exactly what happened.

Twenty years later, I readily recognized one of the reasons for that. I was asked to write a full-length play on very short notice. It was a piece that would have great spiritual significance for many people and it had to be historically accurate. Because I had continued to develop my skills, I was able to complete the project in an unheard-of 15 days (it usually takes me a year to perfect a play of that length). The approval committee asked for only two small changes.

Because the timeline was so short, there was no time for another person to get familiar enough with the script to direct and oversee the production. Again, my years in community theater made it possible for me to instruct other volunteers in costuming, set design and other production tasks, direct the show, and fill in for actors who couldn’t make rehearsals. (I think I played most of the 60 parts in rehearsal at one time or another.) It was made very clear to me that my ability to do this was based on the fact that I had listened to spiritual counsel and continued in theater work, despite the fact that it was sometimes difficult, and even though I had never expected such an opportunity to come my way.

A journal is a great way to keep in touch with your spirit. You can write there what you don’t feel comfortable saying to anyone. You can also allow yourself to explore ideas and possibilities without anyone interfering or telling you it’s not a worthwhile pursuit. You can record answers to prayers, which can then return to your heart with the full force they had when you received them, every time you read them. Any way you choose to do it, get in touch with who you really are. You’ve been there from the beginning, and you’re still in there somewhere.

What were your favorite games as a child? What are the elements of that game? If you liked to play “army,” you may like organization, leadership, or working under pressure. (Really! Some people thrive on that! Why they thrive on it is another book.) If you liked board games you may have talent as an analytical thinker. Video games could mean eye-hand coordination skills and an inquisitive mind—I’ve heard that some of the best fighter pilots began as video wizards. If you liked to play with dolls (Barbie™, baby, G.I. Joe™, or any other) you could be interested in working with people in general, with nurturing, or with making up stories. Playing school requires making up stories, too; and if you played the teacher, you may have used editing or math skills. You were also working on public speaking and teaching. Were you Play-doh™ proficient? Creative skills, multiplane reasoning, and physical dexterity were at work. Were you the proprietor of the neighborhood’s die-hard lemonade stand? Business! Entrepreneurship! You get the idea. Whatever you found the most fun, the most absorbing, the most often played will give you some clues as to who you really are.

As you try to find yourself, don’t forget to ask the one who knows you better than you know yourself. No, I don’t mean your mother (though she may give you some clues about what you liked to do when you were young). I mean your Heavenly Father. He not only knows who you are, He knows what you came here to do; and no one wants you to succeed as much as He does. Be sure to include conversations with Him as part of your quest—that means listening as well as talking. He has a lot to say.

Where would you be? Another wise person once asked me, “If money were no object, if you had no obligations and no worries in life, where would you be?” In other words, where is your spirit screaming that it wants to be? It is so easy to block out the voice of your spirit, and so fundamentally wrong. Your spirit knows who you are better than your mind does. Your mind has been shaped by the events of your life, and often tells you that you can’t do one thing or another for whatever erroneous reason. That reason is usually the product of some bad experience or impressions you formed as a child. Your spirit holds the pure knowledge of who you were meant to be, and can communicate with God, who can guide you to that pinnacle of your personal conquest.

I had begun to pursue some of my interests by the time I heard this question, so the answer for me came quite quickly: I’d be on a stage. It was an identifying moment for me to say that aloud. The fact that the thought and the passion that accompanied it came so readily to the surface made me think; it reinforced the ideas I had formed about who I am. My continued work as a playwright, director, and occasional actor has kept me very close to the “boards,” (stage) and that is where I found much of my fulfillment. Since then I have moved more toward the writing end of things, writing novels, plays and screenplays, as well as articles on various topics.

I also added painting to my creative list. The interesting thing about that was how I started feeling the call to paint. I had a very demanding job as an editor and was stressed out a lot. Suddenly I found myself wanting to “get back to painting.” That’s the way it came to me. I thought that was strange, because the only time I had ever played around with paint in any measure was for a few months in college (the first time—I went three semesters before I got married). I had never spent much time at it and was definitely not what anyone would call good. But somehow I had this feeling that I needed to paint. So I did. I started with a small set my husband bought me for Valentine’s Day. Before long I was in the art store almost every week, turning out paintings like crazy, and feeling great. I knew that feeling; I’d been down this road with my writing. Now I have two very happy places I can go to when things are tough.