The Final Chapter

The final chapter:

Chapter 7: The Glow of Success

Finally being who you were meant to be—or at least knowing that you are in the process of becoming that person—brings of sense of peace. Being at peace with yourself and knowing you are doing what God wants you to do brings deep, sustaining joy. That, my friend, is success.

Success has nothing to do with possessions or popularity. You were sent here to accomplish certain things. Finding out what those things are and dedicating yourself to achieving them is more rewarding than anything I know.

I have several things I’m supposed to accomplish. One is to teach our children and their children what I have learned, and to show them what love is. Though I’m not perfect at it, I have worked long and hard, and I feel good about the results so far. Our children have all left the nest have established their own lives, and they’re doing quite nicely. They are pursuing careers they love, handling responsibility well, and feeling the satisfaction of doing what is right. (That’s not my doing alone, but I have been a contributor!)

Another thing I’m supposed to do is write. After our children left home, I had more time to devote to this talent. The 15 years in which I could only work at it part time were training ground. Those years and the hours I spent on the stage, in the director’s chair, and at the keyboard have given me the ability to really start spreading my wings.

Those are just two of my jobs in this life. We all have many, and each will have the opportunity to be developed, in its own time; but we have to take the initiative to make it happen. We have to seek out those talents and figure out how to use them. As we do, we are fulfilling the purposes of God, making ourselves instruments in His hands. Times will come when He will need our talents to somehow bless the lives of others (like he did with the play I wrote). If we haven’t developed those talents, we cannot help Him in the ways He would like. I, for one, do not want to have to explain to Him why I was not ready when He called!

Each person is responsible for his own happiness. You’re the only one who can make you happy, and you’re the only one who will really try. As much as others love you, they can’t do it for you.

Working through this system—which developed step by step as I asked God for help—has made my life very rewarding. No, it’s not a bed of roses; life wasn’t meant to be. There are still the daily challenges (not problems!) of money and health and relationships and all the rest. The difference is my ability to handle those things. I know who I am. I know what I can accomplish. And knowing those things keeps everything else in perspective.

Perhaps I still don’t meet the world’s definition of success. I’ve only sold one short screenplay and published one novel (though I expect that number to change dramatically within six months; I don’t have a play on Broadway; and my income as a full-time writer is only now beginning to trickle in. But I like who I am, I like what I’m doing, and I know I’m right with God. I love smiling at that lady in the mirror. Nothing else matters.

Thank you for reading. Stay tuned for more exciting content!

Stuart Davis and Chapter 6

Hey, all.

I met a guy through a writer’s group whose work sounded interesting. The” guy” is Stuart Davis. I went to his blog and started reading “Señor Cinco,” a book he is publishing chapter-by-chapter as he writes it. It’s great! Funny, mysterious, and always leaving me waiting with baited breath for the next installment. (OK, so I’ll brush my teeth.) It’s about a guy with extreme OCD who gets pulled, kicking and screaming into intrigue. His narrative has made me laugh aloud several times, and the story is full of surprises. You really should check it out.

For those of you who are writers, you might like to read some of the other sites he is connected to—or to which he is connected, if we want to be proper. They contain entertaining and enlightening material.

Stuart’s blog is at http://fiveaweekfiction.blogspot.com/2012/03/books-that-make-bad-movies-part-1.html.

One alert: there is a little bit of foul language in a couple of the chapters of “Señor Cinco.” It’s not pervasive in the story.

Having read “Señor Cinco” I went to Amazon to check out Stuart’s book, too. I read the excerpt. Same funny style, same moving-the-story-along in the most entertaining of ways, same mysterious bent.  This is a career I intend to follow.

Now on with this week’s installment of "God Didn't Give Me These Talents So I Could Be Miserable Not Using Them." (The penultimate chapter.)

Chapter 6: Snowballs

Once the ball starts rolling, it will pick up size and momentum like a snowball on the best sledding hill in town. As you improve your talents, your attitudes change, your interaction with others changes, and believe it or not, your circumstances will change, too.

Dr. Jonathan Chamberlain wrote “Eliminating Your Self-defeating Behaviors” (Brigham Young University Press, 1978, with multiple printings). If you can find a copy, it’s well worth your time. He deals with the self-doubts and hang-ups that we have and helps us do away with them. (Very often, I learned, our feeling about ourselves and our abilities are formed very early in life. They are deduced by children’s minds; but adult minds understand things differently. We can overcome negative feelings and behaviors quite effectively if we understand this principle.) He points out that, as we’ve already discussed, you can’t change anyone else—only yourself. Then he illustrates that when you change yourself, you change your relationships with others, so they change in relation to you, which changes who they are to some degree, which affects other aspects of their lives, which affects other people…. The snowball rolls on.

As you begin to nourish yourself, you’ll feel different. As a plant that’s gone too long without water reacts when you finally give it some attention, your spirit will open and lift. The more you feed it, the more it will stretch, and those dusty, gray moth wings will open, revealing the true colors of your talent.

My early experience with the theater was crucial to my confidence. My work was in demand, so I had to schedule time to work. In the case of the first movie that I adapted, we didn’t own a VCR, so I arranged to use the one at our church building late at night, when our children were home with Daddy and no one was at the church. I sat there alone many nights until at least midnight, transcribing every word of the script. It was intense; it was even a little scary some nights. But the lessons I learned about character and structure from dissecting that film were valuable tools that continue to serve me to this day.

Having one project follow another kept me motivated. As I mentioned, I sometimes worried that I was devoting too much time to plays; but I soon found a balance that we could all live with. So really there was no suddenness about it; I had time for me because I’d made time for me!

You must be consistent. Make “your time” as routine as brushing your teeth. As you do, you’ll find yourself getting more and more comfortable with the real you, and it will be easier and easier to not only act like, but be a ___________. You’ll know when it’s really happening. Smiling at the person in the mirror will bring sheer joy, because you’ll really like who that person is!

Most importantly, be thankful for the changes in your life, and let God know you are. He is the most powerful tool we have in our search for the meanings of our lives. Make sure He knows you realize that, and He will bless you.

Chapter 5

Hey, everyone! I hope the new look doesn't throw you. It's still me--just a fresher layout.

Only 6 days left on the contest. I hope you're reading!

When you get a spare minute, you can add this to your journey into the mind--the next chapter of "God Didn't Give Me These Talents So I Could Be Miserable Not Using Them."

Chapter 5: The Unbelievers

They’re always going to be there; those people who tell you you can’t or you’re crazy or it will never work. There are reasons for that. First of all, if you have been so deeply buried that even you had to dig to find yourself, how can others be expected to know who you are? You’re presenting yourself as something different than what they thought you were. They don’t know how to handle that! Which means they’re the ones with the problems! Let me explain that concept.

People are comfortable with who you have been. It’s how they know you, how they relate to you. Now you’re telling them you’re going to change. That means they’re going to have to work, too; because if you change, they’ll have to change to relate to the new you. Some people don’t like change—it’s hard work!

Some are actually going to be jealous of you. They all had dreams once, too—maybe they still do—but you have had the gall to go after yours. How dare you! Some of them have not yet discovered that they have the power to move toward their dreams. Others have given up, or are so afraid of change…. Well, you’ve been there. You understand what it’s like for them.

How do they handle these feelings? They try to go to the source. If they can convince you not to change, then they don’t have to. If they can prevent you from having success, they don’t have to feel bad about where they are in life. It all translates to their trying to knock you off course.

When I had my first local success as a playwright, some of my friends were supportive, and made a big deal of the publicity I received. I was amazed, though, that others turned away from me. I couldn’t understand what was happening. Fortunately, one of my friends is herself a highly published writer, and she, having been through this herself, explained to me what was happening.

Once I knew, the situation was a lot easier to handle. That changed my attitude. I could deal with the things that had been hurtful before because I knew that, in reality, those words and actions were not directed at me. They were outward manifestations of inward frustrations. I could feel empathy for the people who were hurting me—or at the very least, sympathy. And though some incidents still stung, they didn’t sting deeply or for very long.

I had another ally. I have the great fortune of being married to a man who believes in me. He always has, even when my poems were lousy and my stories were worse. He encouraged me to continue developing my talents through all the years when I had very little time to do it, and has been my biggest fan as my efforts have started to pay off. Having supportive people around you makes the job easier and more fun. It’s always nice to share your triumphs with people you love.

I also found great encouragement in theater groups and writing groups. Creative people are usually open to new ideas; and having felt the joy of creation themselves, they foster those tendencies in others. They were the first to tell me when some aspect of my work needed improvement, but they were also the loudest cheerleaders when I was doing well.

When negative people are part of your life, you need to gravitate to those people who offer you hope. In the movie “Hook” starring Robin Williams (Columbia Tristar, 1991), Peter Pan has forgotten who he is. His mannerisms give hints to his inner character, but he has blocked all recognition of his spirit from his mind—and he is a very unhappy, stressed-out man whose relationships are strained the breaking point. Until he is faced with a crisis. Then he is forced to rediscover himself and redevelop the talents that have laid dormant for many years. Why? What is his motivation? To serve others. To save his children.

Captain Hook repeatedly says that this paunchy, middle-aged executive could not possibly be Peter Pan. Most of the Lost Boys don’t believe it. Hook even breaks the fragile image Peter’s son Jack holds of his father, and leaves Jack thinking that his father is cowardly and uncaring.

The most poignant moment in the movie for me is when one of the Lost Boys, trying to figure out if this relic from the “real world” could possibly be Peter Pan, looks deeply into Peter’s eyes—the mirrors of the soul—and says, “Oh, Peter! There you are!” Only then does Peter himself begin to believe. He then spends his time with people who believe, or are at least willing to consider the possibility that he is “The Pan,” and encourage him to stretch himself beyond his self-imposed limits. His progress from that point is amazing.

You must believe in yourself, and draw strength from those who believe in you. Remember your Heavenly Father in this quest, and make sure that the things you are doing are right in His eyes, and that you are using your talents as He would have you use them. If you’re right with God, it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks.